I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
