saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
