I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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