I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry about my life...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
