I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You are a genius and a whore.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize