At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
either way he was missing a nipple.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
