just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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