yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
