She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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