he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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