You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
