Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dick very happy bro
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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