Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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