so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
