ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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