You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
