Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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