could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
