Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
