I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
