So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize