I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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