Acid is not a monday night drug
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
