So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
