If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
