Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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