im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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