____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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