I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
