He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
