i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
