Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
there is glitter all over my balls
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize