you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize