Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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