Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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