I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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