I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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