I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
