508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dicks are not precious.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
