Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
