I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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