O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
