whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
