took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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