Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
