dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
