my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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