You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
