Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
