the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
