If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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