Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
