yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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