i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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