I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
