Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
