it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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