Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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