Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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