Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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